Going to Chicago

My cousin, Andy, was getting married in June. The tickets and plans were already made to attend this wedding. I was torn with wanting to go with Charlie, or just going with my brother. It was tough, I love traveling and I love traversing around town in a new area checking out all the sites and of course, the nightlife. Charlie enjoyed the same luxuries and activities as I did. Was I emotionally stable enough to bring him along?

My answer was yes.

So off we went to the windy city. We stayed at the Amalfi hotel in the River North district. Once we entered the city, it was like I walked into a dream where we were back together again. Everything felt so comfortable and so good…but it didn't feel right. We were not supposed to be calling each other by our pet names, we were not supposed to be snuggling up to each other and saying "I love you," we were not supposed to be doing anything intimate, because intimacy complicates things. The only thing we were supposed to be doing was just enjoying each other's company, and fucking.

It was hard for me to remind myself to switch my emotional mechanism off. I had missed Charlie so much, and he was showing me so much love that the wall I built around myself started to waver a little. But I kept it strong by telling myself that once we stepped out of the city, its back to our separate lives we go. And go, it did - with a few unpleasant surprises 2 days later.

Was this little trip to fantasy land worth the possibility of compromising my emotional and mental health?

Since it didn't, I say yes. I got to see my family and explore a beautiful city. I also added a few more blocks to my wall and reinforced it with more cement.

Cheers. To Chicago.